Feeling Separation from Krishna

yugayitam nimesena caksusa pravrsayitm

sunyayitam jagat sarvam govinda-virahena me

“O Govinda! Feeling Your separation, a moment feels like twelve years or more. Tears are flowing from my eyes like torrents of rain, and I am feeling all vacant in the world in Your absence.’ (Sri Siksastaka, Verse 7)

In his Padyavali Srila Rupa Goswami cites this verse:

“If I have to choose between union with Krishna and separation from Him, I would choose separation, because when I am with Krishna I see only one Krishna, but when I am separated from Him, then I see Krishna coming toward me from every corner of the universe.”

In 1969 Srila Prabhupada instructed the devotees to cry prayerfully for Krishna while chanting His name:

“So we are addressing, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna: ’O the energy of the Lord, O the Lord, please accept me.’ That’s all. ’Please accept me.’ We have no other prayer. ’Please accept me.’ Lord Caitanya taught that we should simply cry, and we shall simply pray for accepting us. That’s all. So this vibration is simply a cry for addressing the Supreme Lord, requesting Him, ’Please accept me. Please accept me.’”

It is said that separation is the best mood in which to perform bhajan. Srila Prabhupada once said,

Actually, meeting Krishna is possible through the attitude of separation taught by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. When the feeling of separation becomes very intense, one attains the stage of meeting Sri Krishna. (Caitanya Caritamrita. Adi 4.108, purport)

Let us eagerly listen to Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura in his song Kabe ha’be bolo as he makes his appeal:

1. Please tell me, when, o when, will that day be mine when my offenses will come to an end and a taste for the pure holy name will be infused in my heart by the power of divine grace?

2. Feeling myself lower than a blade of grass, welcoming the quality of forbearance into my heart, giving honor to all living beings, and becoming free of false pride, when will I taste the essence of the liquid nectar of the holy name?

3. Wealth, followers, beautiful women as described in worldly poetry—I do not want these bodily pleasures. O Lord Gaurahari! Please give me unmotivated devotion to Your lotus feet birth after birth.

4. When, while articulating the divine name of Sri Krishna, will my body thrill with ecstatic rapture, my words choke with emotion, and my body lose color and tremble ecstatically? When will streams of tears flow constantly from my eyes?

5. When, in the land of Navadvipa, on the banks of the celestial Ganga, will I run about innocently calling out, “O Gaura! O Nityananda’? Dancing and singing, I will wander about like a madman, giving up all consideration of proper social behavior.

6. When will Lord Nityananda be merciful to me and release me from the illusion of worldliness? When will he give me the shade of his own lotus feet and bestow on me the qualification necessary to enter the marketplace of the holy name?

7. Somehow or other I shall buy or steal the mellows of the name of Lord Hari. Becoming thoroughly intoxicated by those liquid mellows I will become stunned. By touching the feet of those great souls who are expert in relishing those mellows I will be constantly immersed in the sweet nectar of the holy name.

8. When will there be an awakening in me of compassion for all fallen souls? Then this Bhaktivinoda will forget his own happiness, and with a meek heart he will set out to propagate by humble solicitation the sacred order of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.”

“If you cannot hanker for Krishna, then hanker that one day you will hanker for Krishna. If you cannot hanker for that day, then hanker for the day when one day you will hanker for Krishna.”

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